So, I don't know if I would ever have believed that a family would need a flowchart to navigate a Saturday until two Saturdays ago. I think that this is the phase we have now entered. The Saturday before last started with a basketball game at 8:30, testing from 8:45-noon, a birthday party at 12:30, a ballgame at one, a nap from 1-3, another ballgame at 2, math competition practice from 4-6, another birthday party for ALL the kids from 6:30-8:30, and a father/son night out. All of these events were in separate locations, and NONE of them were in Duvall where we live. Two of them were in Carnation, which is only about 14 minutes away--and we were grateful for that.
Spence and I sat down with a pad of paper and willing hearts as we mapped out who would "D.O." (drop off) and who would "P.U." (stop chuckling Spence, we both know I'm not stooping to restroom humor here--Pick Up). We also had to figure out who would have which kids in their car at what time. We each got our schedule, and then perfectly performed our choreographed day. It truly was amazing, like a work of art forming before our very eyes. Spence even got our basketball hoop put together and up, and I even cooked all our meals. Who knew that we could stand up to the heat SO well? And come out on top!
Well, that's all fine and dandy untill you realize that every Saturday for the next sixteen years is going to be like that. This isn't going a one-hit-wonder, folks, because it CAN'T be! We must pull this off time and again if we want to give our kids the opportunity to be athletes as well as "mathletes," as our friend Jeff put it. Not to mention have social lives!
Yesterday shaped up to be much the same as the previous week, only take away the birthday parties and the testing, add a primary activity, baseball tryouts, a "girl's night out, and an intensive workout for Mom's new obsession--triathlon training. And that about sums it up. I was so confident after the previous Saturday, that I didn't even really prepare. Have you ever heard the line, "If you fail to prepare, then prepare to fail?" Well, that applies here.
The morning started off horribly, with me still in bed and Elyse panicking that I wasn't downstairs reading or fixing her breakfast. I heard her crying on the stairs, and yelling "Mom! I can't find you!" The stress increased as Spence had to make a mad run to Target for baseball gloves for the boys, and a swim cap and goggles for me. And I lost Elyse's friend's birthday invitation, so I had to call and find out if the party was indeed the 24th (and thank goodness it's on the 31st), WHILE I was trying to get everyone ready for the day. The day just took off without me-without a real plan. What can I say? It was intense. I still had confidence we could make it while I was asking Coulson to keep Kian out of the toilet and the refrigerator for 10 minutes while I finished our "plan." And then he started to cry. He's too cool to cry by now, so he had my full attention. He said, "Mom, can't we just all stay home and play like we normally do? I don't want to do this. I hate this."
Talk about a stop you in your tracks moment. I looked at myself and thought, "Am I the over-scheduling, stressed-out, yuppy parent that I never thought I'd be?" What am I trying to accomplish here? So I asked him if it was the tryout. Yes. Did he wanted to play baseball? Yes. He just hates the tryout. He was the same for basketball, but has LOVED playing! And he was just fine the previous week when he didn't have to witness the careful planning it all took. Execution was fine; the stress of planning was not. So, executive decision made. He tried out, and we proceded with the day.
The result of the day wasn't exactly pretty! Coulson's tryout went over 20 minutes, which made him miss his basketball game completely. Aiden was 20 minutes late to his basketball game. They both missed the primary activity. Spence had to sit alone with 5 kids for Evie's game; everyone forgot about Coulson's math competition practice, and I missed the girl's night out (which was FINE by me). Maybe I've been deluding myself in thinking we can juggle all these schedules. But hey, it's not my kids' fault that their parents chose to have so many kids, and I don't want them to miss out on anything.
Maybe planning will solve all our problems. Maybe I should start Saturday's planning tomorrow (Monday). Maybe I'll post flowcharts in every hall and door in the house; everyone will know exactly where they're supposed to be and when. Maybe? Maybe I should just bag it and let them play all day on Saturday. And get in eachother's hair, and get bored, and jump on the furniture and get food all over the kitchen, and yeah, we're stickin' with what we've got for now. But I'm taking any suggestions from you veterans out there. How do you make it work? Does anyone have a flowchart I could borrow?
6 comments:
Ha, ha. I think you summed it up well. Just think, probably only 8 more years of Saturdays like this and we're done. :)
The best part is that Elyse and Kian don't really have any activties yet. Maybe we should give the Collinwoods a call...
I can't help but chuckle as I read about your dilemmas. We have a lot of action going on as well. You better go for the flow chart. Hockey is our big time consumer. Triathalon? Rob and I are signing up for one here in Vernal. We're both attempting the sprint not the olympic. Come to Vernal the last Saturday of June and do the DinoTri!! Running is not my specialty....Fun stuff overall though. This is our first.
I love it Heather. We are somewhat at that stage but add in time for both me and Bret to study. Bret is also training for a tri but he hasn't found one he likes yet. He will be in Honduras for the third time the last weekend in June.
I haven't resorted to flowcharts but I do have lists that have the times listed - so I guess that's a flowchart - kinda!
Okay, so I DO start working on the schedule for the week either Sunday or Monday night when we are all together. If the kids have anything new to add to the week or weekend that isn't already on the regular crazy schedule, that is the time.
Having said that, there are plenty of times when something unexpected comes up.
The trouble I have is that I want to be present at all of my children's events but with all of them engaged in different activities (and most of their activities are day-long events and away from home)we have to divide and conquer. I have to decide which is most important and go from there.
I have worried that they are too scheduled so I try to encourage them to find one thing that they love and do that. With youth night, scouts, activity days, church, work, and music lessons, one sport is really enough (for everyone).
I do love what they learn from participating in sports.
I have seen in working with the youth (teens) that the kids who have something extracurricular in their lives that they feel they are good at, seem to be more confident and happy.
I watch and listen to the kids on how they are feeling about their activities. If it becomes too much, we back off. If we can handle it and it continues to feel worth the effort, we push forward.
Scheduling is still a nightmare but not impossible.
Feel happy that your kids are all still young enough that you aren't running the crazy schedule on the week nights as well. Once they are teens, it's really CRAZY!
But I love every minute of it!
Good luck!
Work on the schedule early in the week, if you can. Take time to breath. Enjoy every moment (crazy or not) with those darling kids while you have them at home.
Love you.
Wow - Heather - that was a glimpse of the future. I'm amazed with the organized chaos every time I go to your house. You guys are inspiring. The time that Trav and I have sat down and planned out our months (date nights, dates w/ Lauren, temple night, etc.) Those times have gone so much better. Too bad those planning activities are the exception rather than the rule.
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